I have been debating all week whether or not to publicly, via blog, jump in and voice my opinion on the Anne Rice leaving Christianity in the name of Christ subject. I have followed the story since the beginning, reading both sides of the story in various blogs and news articles. I have recently faced the same decision she has made. I wasn’t Catholic, but Protestant, yet found myself having the same problems with the church.
I was not as bold as Anne Rice to publicly announce my decision, so for many of my friends and family this post will be the first time they are hearing of this. It’s not that I wanted to hide my decision, but that I needed time to further study the whys and confirm if this was truly how I felt. The small circle of people around me that do know I have made such a step have made it clear, in usually a loving way, they disagree with me and I love them so much for voicing their concern over my soul.
The explanation for my exodus from the church lies in my quest for purity, a stripping away so to speak. I love history and have poured over books and documentaries since I was very young. I knew roughly the time line of certain historical events that changed the church forever, such as Constantine’s rule. I began to trace the church backwards, looking at timelines of the church making little changes here and there, blessing rituals of different areas as they spread the church throughout Europe. I have questioned since I was a little girl why things were so different from the Jewish religion, when Jesus was in fact Jewish and taught in the synagogues. Why didn’t we celebrate the Jewish holidays that we read about in Sunday school, when Jesus had Passover with His disciples immediately before being put on the cross? Continuing on my timeline I found little changes here and there, a fork in the road here and there, yet nothing to convince me that this was what Jesus intended for his church.
This began the stripping away process for me. What was before the Protestant sect, The Church of England, the Catholic church? How did the disciples carry on the church and in what way? I’m not on a quest to convert anyone, I am simply relaying the questions that arose for me during this process. A quick answer to what I consider myself today is Natsarim (a form of Messianic Jewish), but for the most part I am choosing for now to follow God on my own. I choose not to tithe to a physical building if the family next door can not pay their power bill this month; I choose not to argue over legalism, but rather spend that time counseling a friend in need; I choose to drop organized religion and run to my God with freedom and purity of heart. In the name of Yahushua ha Mashiach, Amen.